The Resort of the Fabulously Wealthy

I have a thing about stucco hollow columns. I just don't get them. They imply imperial greatness, but end up saying office building. But since the view from each one of them at the Four Seasons Maui points to Wailea Beach, the light azure of the reef under the ocean, and the islands of Lanai, Molokini, and Kahoolawe, I suppose they aren't much of an annoyance.

There seem to be two predominate types of vacationers at the Four Seasons Maui: skinny bikini-clads with golfer boyfs and marrieds with exactly two abnormally well behaved children. And then there are the staff members. They are gorgeous and svelte. The redhead host-ess with dangley earrings at Spago restaurant is just dreamy.

Because its a Four Seasons, they've thought of every possible service. Evian spritz? No problem. Ice cream bar? There before you knew you wanted one. Forgot your sunscreen? They have three choices at the pool. A cozy place to nestle and watch the ocean without UV rays? They have 80 lounger cabanas lovingly terraced down to the water. Dirty clothes? Complimentary laundry facilities on every floor. Swimmer nappies for the kiddies? Why'd you even have to ask.

All staff members go through some training they speak about with boot camp like pride. But you don't notice the difference until you find yourself telling a total stranger about the tiniest details of your day as if she were the dearest friend.

The sales team has a particular style of showing how their properties are superior to the competition. Robin the Director of Sales: "We don't have a separate group entrance. Why should any guest be treated differently?" progressively said, with a toss of her hand, as if to dismiss separate-but-equal policies at other hotels. And, "Our rates are expensive, but we cater to wealthy clientele!" Duh.

We settle down to dinner at Ferraro's which is tucked away in an intimate corner of the property. We see the sunset crest the waves in gold. Tikis dapple diners in warm light, and our waiter is an Italiano autentico. We order off menu, and drink fine sparkling European waters with lime. Sometimes servers feel the need to invite you to stay as long as you'd like. Here it goes without saying. And we do.