Fairmont Kea Lani Cheese

The Fairmont Kea Lani's lobby is Byzantine in a literal way, with domes arches and eastern influenced stuff framing what has to be the nicest beach along the Wailea coast.

I spent the night in a comfortable suite with an expansive sparkling bathroom with two pedestal sinks. The rooms have balconies big enough to sun bathe on and perfectly situated for catching the setting of the golden orb. But no matter how glorious the hotel and its amenities, I couldn't help but notice the cottage cheese ceilings, like a big mole on an otherwise beautiful face. Sometimes flaws can be defining features, but in this case, cheese is cheese.

I meet with Jasper, the Group Sales Manager. We laugh and binge on Maui sugarcane-fed beef, Hawaiian butter fish and purple Okinawan mashed potatoes whipped with coconut creme and butter. He introduces me to Waiwera sparkling water, from New Zealand, for which I will be eternally grateful. We drink at least six bottles. I pee all night long in my bathroom, each time admiring the doorless walk-in showers and eight foot framed mirror above the soaking tub. I love the finish and weight of the doors and fittings. They have the feel of a heritage library or castle most people associate with Fairmont brand. But each time I return to my lofty king bed, I look up, and grimace for a few seconds.

Back at dinner, Jasper is careful to explain that the resort is going through major renovations to the pool and restaurant areas, new carpet in the hallways, soft good refurbs in the rooms, and many other investments to add value to the hotel. But of the cheese there is no mention.

The Kea Lani is unique. It is all white. Kind of Greek. Sort of Miami Beach. And a little whimsical. It has the bones to be a very interesting design hotel with a few edits of concrete icing here and there.