The Reign of Ritz

Hotel Geek Winner: Best Maui Resort

The Kapalua side of Maui greeted us with a misty rain storm. "If you can see the sun through the crowds, it won't last long," our driver advised. I had been warned about the rain. But even so, I was excited to luxuriate in a Ritz bed at the Ritz Carlton Kapalua, while not expecting much from the hotel itself.

I love Ritz Carlton beds. The Ritz Carlton Grand Lakes Orlando was my first time in one, in October 2006, followed by The Ritz Carlton Grand Cayman in June of 2008, and The Ritz Carlton Laguna Nigel in August of 2009. I mention the dates because spending the night in one of these beauties is an event all unto itself.

While the beds at Ritz hotels are consistently amazing, the hotels can be somewhat of a snooze. Kenji, the sales manager at Kapalua, explained that when Marriott International acquired the brand from 1996-2000, it went through a huge expansion phase requiring its franchisees to build essentially the same hotel, with the same "Grandma Luxury" (my phrase) aesthetic, all over the world.

Back then, it was all about brand consistency and identity. When they first opened, travelers were wowed by the same variegated black and white marble and Bulgari product in every Ritz bathroom. But it soon got old. If you're spending so much money on a room, the revised logic goes, why would you want your experience in Hawaii to be exactly the same as your experience in Atlanta? And since about 2004 Ritz hotels have been scrambling to focus on the culture and flavor of each destination to varying degrees of success.

Enter Marc McDowell, executive sous chef at the Ritz Kapalua. While touring the grounds, Kenji referenced an event held in the resort's kitchen garden. I geek out about all the farm to table sustainability crap going around these days, so we detoured towards a grassy spot behind the tennis courts where we could see a chef dressed all in white, rummaging around in a modest-size grow box garden.

"I did the math," Marc explained while picking tomatoes and eggplant, "and we were spending over $30,000 dollars a year on fresh herbs." He pointed to the lavender, lemon grass, thyme, and mint. "Today there is no cost to the hotel except my time, and I'm able to grow most of the fresh vegetables for our Banyan Tree restaurant."

I imagined throwing a seed on the ground, leaving it to the rich soil and frequent rain, and harvesting sans effort two months later.

"But this is nothing. When I install our aquaponics garden where those two tennis courts now are. . ." We acknowledge with nodding heads, "I'll be able to grow all the vegetables we will ever need. It's incredible. . ." He looked up from picking, tomatoes in hand, "we'll be able grow baby lettuce in 15 days."

I'm a little hazy on the details, but an aquaponics garden involves a tank of Tilapia, some kind of irrigation system to circulate the tank water to the plants, as well as trays or beds for the plants to grow in. While working at Kapalua, Marc has graduated from a master gardeners program offered by the University of Hawaii and studied under aquaponics experts on the Big Island.

This is a man who has clearly found his passion in life. We left Marc to his harvesting. As we turned to leave he said, "If the resort won't let me take over the tennis courts, I'll leave, start my own garden, and become their supplier!"

After the site inspection, we sat in the Kai Sushi Bar looking out at the wavering pool lights and down to the black ocean. Kenji rattled away with the Chef in Japanese, asking him to bring the best and freshest whatever. "This restaurant used to be one of the Ritz Carlton Libraries. Can you imagine being shut up in a Library with all of this?" The lobby, originally an enclosed box, was knocked out at both ends, and remodeled in Koa wood, and relaxed Island-themed furniture.

The original hotel plans called for the massive structure to be built right on the beach front. However, early excavations uncovered a burial ground, and lawsuits ensued. "There was a well-organized local group opposed to the project." Kenji explained between miso slurps. "And when it was all sorted out, the General Manager was so impressed that he hired the opposition leader as the resort's Cultural Adviser. Much of what you see today is a result of their work together."

Plans for the hotel were changed. It was moved back and built at the brow of a hill with a meandering path down to a secluded beach. It's sublime. There's an unmistakable sense of place. One night was not enough.

Fairmont Kea Lani Cheese

The Fairmont Kea Lani's lobby is Byzantine in a literal way, with domes arches and eastern influenced stuff framing what has to be the nicest beach along the Wailea coast.

I spent the night in a comfortable suite with an expansive sparkling bathroom with two pedestal sinks. The rooms have balconies big enough to sun bathe on and perfectly situated for catching the setting of the golden orb. But no matter how glorious the hotel and its amenities, I couldn't help but notice the cottage cheese ceilings, like a big mole on an otherwise beautiful face. Sometimes flaws can be defining features, but in this case, cheese is cheese.

I meet with Jasper, the Group Sales Manager. We laugh and binge on Maui sugarcane-fed beef, Hawaiian butter fish and purple Okinawan mashed potatoes whipped with coconut creme and butter. He introduces me to Waiwera sparkling water, from New Zealand, for which I will be eternally grateful. We drink at least six bottles. I pee all night long in my bathroom, each time admiring the doorless walk-in showers and eight foot framed mirror above the soaking tub. I love the finish and weight of the doors and fittings. They have the feel of a heritage library or castle most people associate with Fairmont brand. But each time I return to my lofty king bed, I look up, and grimace for a few seconds.

Back at dinner, Jasper is careful to explain that the resort is going through major renovations to the pool and restaurant areas, new carpet in the hallways, soft good refurbs in the rooms, and many other investments to add value to the hotel. But of the cheese there is no mention.

The Kea Lani is unique. It is all white. Kind of Greek. Sort of Miami Beach. And a little whimsical. It has the bones to be a very interesting design hotel with a few edits of concrete icing here and there.

The Resort of the Fabulously Wealthy

I have a thing about stucco hollow columns. I just don't get them. They imply imperial greatness, but end up saying office building. But since the view from each one of them at the Four Seasons Maui points to Wailea Beach, the light azure of the reef under the ocean, and the islands of Lanai, Molokini, and Kahoolawe, I suppose they aren't much of an annoyance.

There seem to be two predominate types of vacationers at the Four Seasons Maui: skinny bikini-clads with golfer boyfs and marrieds with exactly two abnormally well behaved children. And then there are the staff members. They are gorgeous and svelte. The redhead host-ess with dangley earrings at Spago restaurant is just dreamy.

Because its a Four Seasons, they've thought of every possible service. Evian spritz? No problem. Ice cream bar? There before you knew you wanted one. Forgot your sunscreen? They have three choices at the pool. A cozy place to nestle and watch the ocean without UV rays? They have 80 lounger cabanas lovingly terraced down to the water. Dirty clothes? Complimentary laundry facilities on every floor. Swimmer nappies for the kiddies? Why'd you even have to ask.

All staff members go through some training they speak about with boot camp like pride. But you don't notice the difference until you find yourself telling a total stranger about the tiniest details of your day as if she were the dearest friend.

The sales team has a particular style of showing how their properties are superior to the competition. Robin the Director of Sales: "We don't have a separate group entrance. Why should any guest be treated differently?" progressively said, with a toss of her hand, as if to dismiss separate-but-equal policies at other hotels. And, "Our rates are expensive, but we cater to wealthy clientele!" Duh.

We settle down to dinner at Ferraro's which is tucked away in an intimate corner of the property. We see the sunset crest the waves in gold. Tikis dapple diners in warm light, and our waiter is an Italiano autentico. We order off menu, and drink fine sparkling European waters with lime. Sometimes servers feel the need to invite you to stay as long as you'd like. Here it goes without saying. And we do.

The Grand Tatas Resort & Spa

The Grand Wailea Resort is a veritable maison d'exposition of bronze, onyx and wooden breasts. One contact told me the collection of Botero bosoms alone is worth 350 million. Impressive figures, but rather at odds with the resort's placement as a first tier family and meeting destination.

"What's that you say Junior!? Those are called 'breasts', not 'boobies'. And that, my son, is a 'vagina'. "

Not to miss at this property, however, is the spa. Enormous doesn't quite describe it. They have steam rooms, saunas, Hawaiian salt aromatherapy baths, hot and cold soaking tubs, waterfall cure-what-ails-ya treatment and "Swiss Showers" that pin prick you with water from all directions. The staff will even rub Maui sugar on your back and give you treatment sequence suggestions all while being comfortably chatty.

Perhaps the corpulent nude statuary is intended to lure clients into the spa where they are able to discretely throw off all their clothing for a luxurious soak. And if that is the case, well done Grand Wailea! I went twice.

Hawaii Site Inspection Trip: Maui

I'm in Hawaii to look at hotels for an incentive trip I'll be running in 2012. When I say "look at hotels" this usually means flying into a place, spending the night, trying a few restaurants and meeting with the sales, management and other staff of the particular resort.

But can't all this be done via the internet?

Online, photos can be doctored up, distances obscured, and food exaggerated. But even if the resort is just fine, it's often the intangibles that make a hotel exceptional. I'm in the incentive business. If a client dreams about Hawaii, reaches her sells goals, and is disappointed by the hotel, I have failed. But on the flip side, if the hotel proves to be even more than the property of his dreams, I score major points.